Games We Play

Milton Bradley has some serious competition. Ella has devised the following games for good, old fashioned, one-year-old fun.
1. Grab the Poo
Number of Players: 2-3
Rules: As Mommy, Daddy (or both) attempt to change your diaper, quickly reach down with one hand and attempt to grab your excrement. Dodge pesky adults as they try to ruin your fun. Make sure to get enough in your nails so that parents worry about e-coli.
2. Dial Long Distance
Number of Players: 2-3
Rules: Wait until caregiver is trying to wash the dishes, prepare your meal, fold your laundry, etc. Grab the cordless phone and start pressing as many numbers as possible. Hit "talk". See how long it takes caregiver to notice. Watch as they look dismayed while frantically going through the phone bill.
3. Eat the Candles
Number of Players: 1
Rules: Do not eat your lunch or dinner, turn your head at all things nutritious and edible. Once meal time is over, proceed to fireplace and eat the candles.
4. Climb the Stairs
Number of Players: 2-3
Rules: Watch Mommy take out the garbage and recyclables and load up the car with your diaper bag, her work bag, coffee, etc. Once out of eye-line, unhinge the child-safety gate (ha) and start climbing down the basement steps to the concrete below. Watch as Mommy suffers a stroke as she reenters the home seconds later and sees you perched precariously over skull fracture's door.
5. Computer Time
Number of Players: 2
Rules: Wait until Mommy or Daddy have their laptop out and are trying to construct an important work email. Bang on keys with dirty banana hands and scream bloody murder when laptop is closed. Bonus points awarded if keys are jammed.
6. Throw the Plate
Number of Players: 2
Rules: Watch as Mommy and Daddy dance around the kitchen as short-order cooks and prepare healthy meal. Receive plate of fresh, organic delectibles. Immediately throw plate on the ground.
7. Buck the Car Seat
Number of Players: The More the Merrier
Rules: Wait until there is a large crowd of parents, teachers and students in the daycare lobby. Allow parent to put on coat and hat. Pitch a fit of epic proportions when parent attempts to put you in car seat. Thrash wildly, arching your back in protest.
8. Destroy the Glasses
Number of Players: 2
Rules: Wait until parent is in a vulnerable or preoccupied position. Reach towards face and grab at $400 glasses. Threaten destruction. Evade blinded parent.
9. Giggle
Number of Players: 2-3
Rules: Laugh and smile at any silly little thing. Melt Mommy and Daddy's heart instantly.