Vivian

Dear Viv,
One year ago today my heart expanded two fold. It quickly and easily made room for my beautiful six pound, four ounce baby girl. This first year with you has been a tremendous gift. I've had so much fun being your mother. I used to think mothers like me were delusional, hopped up on some post-partum wonder drug... "She is such an easy baby", "she sleeps so well", "she loves to be held", "her birth was amazing". But here I am, clean and sober, seemingly sane, saying these things about you and probably annoying the hell out of everyone in ear-shot. You were so calm, content and happy that I even questioned your neurological status. Weren't newborns supposed to be a mass of tears needing to be bounced on an exercise ball all night long? Wasn't I supposed to be a harried wreck, wondering what the hell I was doing wrong? (Sorry, El, we had a rough start. Our first twelve months together would make Dr. Spock hang up his stethascope). Apparently not.
Here we are one year later and I find the days and weeks leading up to your birthday bittersweet. Did someone press the fast forward button while I wasn't looking?
When we blow out your first candle together later today, I plan on wishing for many more years of the type of happiness that I found after having you.
You are forever my sunshine.
Love,
Mom