Getting Off the Treadmill

Last weekend, while attending a conference on emotional development in early childhood, I chatted up a local kindergarten teacher. (Just reading that first sentence made me realize I need to get a life). Our small talk ended up leaving quite an impression on me as a professional and as a mother. The take away: Not only are today's five year olds expected to graduate kindergarten proficient readers...but they must also add and subtract up through twenty...through twenty! This information really made me pause. The kindergarten I remember was a place where kids learned how good juice and graham crackers could taste after a rousing game of Red Rover and that any "accident" in your pants was social suicide.
So when the opportunity arose tonight to view "The Race to Nowhere", a small independent film critiquing America's educational system, I was like, sign me up. The observer of cultural trends/clinical social worker/geeked-out-parent (official title?) in me was doing back flips. After viewing the film, I thought more about our educational system. One that rewards good test scores over analytical thinking, rote learning over group and social skills and conformity over innovation.
It begs the question...how can we be developing future problem solvers, out of the box thinkers, when the box itself is so narrowly defined it's suffocating our youth? How will our future doctors, teachers, community leaders respond to any issue off the "script"; in a world without training wheels? We as parents, community members and professionals need to decide if there is any worth in promoting happy, motivated and creative beings. Individuals who see learning as invigorating not stifling.
I think part of the issue is the amounts of homework that amass during a typical school day. With today's kids reporting five to six hours a night of homework, who has time for family dinners? Who has time to explore their passions? Who has time to develop an identity (one of the most crucial developmental tasks for a young teenager)? The school's reach needs to be limited to the dismissal bell. To further this point, recent research has suggested that the amount of homework prescribed has very little correlation to academic achievement.
So what does this all mean for me and my family? Now I've not turned into one of those people that think that grades are MEAN and that everyone should get a gold star. But I do think this movie has encouraged me to examine my definition of "success". To be involved (when the time comes) in my children's school and advocate for less homework. To allow time for Ella and Vivian to identify and explore the things they love and not assign their passions for them. I also am learning to embrace the bell curve; knowing that not everyone can be in the the top two percent. It seems like we live in a world where kids are either signed up for Kindergarten Calculus Camp or are drowning in therapies to correct their inadequacies. Don't average kiddos exist anymore? So when I start to freak out about Ella and her extracurriculars or Vivian and her GPA, I will remind myself that Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Jan Fields (COO of McDonalds) and Bill Gates were all college drop outs. Proof that happiness and success cannot be predicted by GPAs or SAT scores.
Reader Warning: I have "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" on hold at the local library. A differing perspective from a Chinese-American mother and Yale professor that suggests that western parents anticipate weakness from their children. After reading, I will likely negate this entire argument and launch into some lengthy diatribe on how we are raising big wusses. The girls will then promptly be enrolled in violin lessons. Until then, Viv can continue to eat her socks and I suppose Ella is allowed to spin in circles (just not in a way that suggests Autism). Your Dad and I love you both and applaud your endeavors.