Two nights ago, an interview on PRI caught my attention and has me writing about it at 5 a.m. this morning...damn radio. French, feminist philosopher, Elizabeth Badinter has recently penned a new book, "The Conflict, Women versus Mother". Show-stopping title, huh? Essentially, the book warns French mothers against mimicking their American counterparts...the Super Mom. From what I can gather, she states that the ideals of modern motherhood are in direct opposition with feminist principles. And I see her point. Pregnancy, breast feeding and the type of nurturance and guidance suggested for our little ones these days does not exactly further ones professional growth. And duh, career equals money, money equals a position of power, power equal security, security yields happiness (bring on Maslow's hierarchy of needs). I don't see this changing any time soon either. And although the thought of bringing a bebe into this world can certainly be empowering...the feedings every 1 1/2 hours throughout the night does not exactly lead to one being on their "A" game in the office the next day. It doesn't stop after breast-feeding either. Anecdotally, at least in my social circle, it is overwhelmingly the moms that are bringing their children to the doctor or arranging their work schedules to care for a sick child. It is also overwhelmingly moms that are shopping for clothing, groceries, birthday gifts, etc. It is overwhelmingly moms that are monitoring their child's development, reading the parenting books and purchasing the latest puzzle, DVD or park district class that purports to further their child's intellectual/social/spiritual growth. I would argue that all of these facets of parenting can easily conflict with personal and professional development. Am I throwing fathers under the bus...hell no...in fact they have a lot of things right. Do we as mothers take on this responsibility ourselves and hold onto these reigns with a death grip? Quite possibly. But I hear some murmurings suggesting change. Some moms are starting to loosen their grasp just a bit. Do I hear a collective sigh of relief? Now the question remains, who will pick them up? Does anyone need to?
It's an interesting time in history to say the least. As our population (aka baby boomers) grows older, babies are becoming a rare and precious commodity. We are surrounded with messages that suggest the benefits of hands-on parenting but more and more parents are feeling like Bluetooths, that is, hands-free. Daycares, nannies, and Sesame Street are raising our children and we have less control in their outcomes. I guess it really does take a village, huh? Or at least a good au-pair referral? Work schedules encroach on precious evening and weekend hours and Blackberries hold us hostage. I guess it leaves me wondering if at any other point in history was their such a conflicting message for parents?
I write with my daughter in mind. Right now, in 2010, over 57% of college students are women. By the way, a complete role-reversal from the 1960s. Women wanting to further their career and ecomonic opportunities with a college degree. This is great to see this level of participation. My hope is that this quest for work/life balance will continue to evolve and lead to more happy, healthy and fulfilled parents, both moms and dads.
So where, in the end, does this early morning rant leave us? I know I'm thoroughly confused...as I'm sure you are too dear reader.
I guess it's that parenthood, specifically motherhood can be an extremely selfless and confusing endeavor at times. And most of it is biologically driven...meaning until men can get pregnant, give birth and breastfeed (ala Schwarzenegger in 1994's "Junior"), we're up to bat for at least that portion. Now I'm envisioning what "Dad Jeans" would look like ; ) So, when is someone going to tackle the task of male impregnation? Crap, I'm hoping that some of that 57% of women in college are in the sciences!
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