Resolved

I'm not a New Year's Resolution type of gal. At least not until this year. My hope is to use this space to record life as it happens; to capture the little nuances of our days that are not seen in our photo albums. So much happens when the camera is away and life is playing itself out. So much that I don't want to forget. I often wish I had a remote control so that I can go back and remember those early days when Ella was first introduced to the world. The quiet mornings when the streets were still and the light in Ella's room was the only sign of life. I remember hearing the birds as they would welcome in the dawn with their chirping. I remember the sleep deprivation and wondering if ever life would be back to "normal". I remember forgetting what "normal" even was. What was life like before this little girl entered into our world? I remember her rough skin as if it had been brushed with sandpaper. I remember the potions and lotions we tried to provide her some relief. I remember tediously recording every single bowel movement on an excel spreadsheet...what precious data. Never in my life did I think I would be examining the content of diapers so scrupulously. I remember the exercise ball and the hours of bouncing that would lull our little one to sleep. I remember guessing and second guessing and researching and Internet searches ad nauseam. I would be surprised if our computer activity was not monitored by the local police given all of the searches for "poop" we had conducted. Isn't there some law against excessive "poop" searches? I remember the night of her baptism, Easter Vigil, or as your father referred to it, "Virgil". The ceremony held such symbolism for us. We have watched with pride over the course of 2008 as our little baby has revealed to us her personality. Ella is like a large print book, very easy to read. She approaches life with gusto. Her wide, easy smile is a highlight to our day. She waits for food like a little bird, mouth open with expectancy. She screams, she grunts, she growls. She scoots across the floor with wild determination. She is light, a grounding force for her parents. Her being has helped us examine who we are and who we want to be. What should she learn about being a woman, a spouse, a parent a human being? With all the complications of parenthood she makes things quite simple. She has revealed the beauty of the every day and for that we are forever grateful. I remember lying on the grass watching her watching the leaves dance in the sunlight. I remember my life becoming so much more full but emptying out all at once. I remember her love for Cheerios. I remember her on tiptoes, head hoisted above her crib railing as she greeted us in the mornings. I'll remember the worries, the late nights, catching my breath as she reached the edge of the stairs. But most of all I will remember 2008 as the year our girl taught us about the unending love that defines parenthood.